War

I'm cab driver since half a year. The stories you hear they change you and your worldview piece by piece. It's not about what you hear on the news but what you hear from people who have been at places for real and their simple part of a certain story. Usually you hear this story only for some minutes without any proof if it's wrong or right and who else was involved and what's their part of it. There's one story that came to my mind first when I started to write.

The guy I drove wanted to go to a bar. At one point he told me that he had been a soldier in the Afghan War back when the Soviets occupied the country and in some other warfare zones. He told me he saw cruelty people do to each other that's hard to imagine when you don't witness yourself. He told about children and women being slaughtered without any mercy and the helplessness faced with demons that won't make you any different from this. He was left with posttraumatic stress disorder - how we like to call it - or simply the fact that all these horrible pictures still wander around in his mind and torture him. I don't know if he had to kill people too or just witnessed other people being killed. And I honestly don't know if it's worse to kill somebody who would else kill others and be left on the same level or to see it happening wishing to intervene.

In the end people are sometimes left with choices where all options are terrible to take and put damage to others and oneself. And what's left is trying to live with it.

Same planet

You're from the same planet

The planet I left long ago

Where words aren't needed

Where we just sense the beauty of the world

And all l need l can see reflecting in your eyes

And your words guide me through this forlorn world

I don't regret and l focus on the horizon

Where you are - somewhere in different lands

The spark that enlightens me

The wisdom and direction I need

I know I've found what l was searching for

And in your arms l feel finally free

On my own

 I never felt so lost

It just comes at too high a cost

Faced my demons once again

I do see them linger somewhere

Too afraid to reappear

Did you hear?

There’s a storm I can’t escape

Else I would be lost forever

You once told me that I’d made it

And I know that this is true

What about you?

Have you lost your sense of humor?

Is this really what you want?

There’s a chance you might be trapped

In the wheels of your own belief

There’s nothing I’d be without you

There was nothing we could do

Sometimes life leaves you no choice

But to do what you have to do

Guess I found my way somehow

This time I need to make it work

Need to leave the shadows

That still tell me that I won’t

I thought I never dared

To walk this road just on my own

There are thousand kingdoms waiting

And they seem to make me blind

There’s a chance I might be losing

All I ever thought was kind

There’s a chance that I won’t stand it

There’s a chance I’d become a stranger to myself

Though there’s a chance I’d escape this prison

That makes me numb and desperate

And that’s the reason why I try

Guess I found my way somehow

This time I need to make it work

Need to leave the shadows

That still tell me that I won’t

I thought I never dared

To walk this road just on my own

My first book is now finally available😊

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